Dating an emotinal person
The Flounderer: He's unhappy in his career, either because he hasn't advanced as much as he thought he would have or it's not what he wants to be doing, period.
The woman he wants: Someone to motivate him and stroke his ego all the time because he's not getting that kind of love in the workplace.
What he really needs: To realize that a fulfilling life is all about balance and an amazing career doesn't keep you warm at night. The Hero: He loves to date a basket case, a woman who's got many issues for him to help her overcome -- but that's only so he can avoid dealing with his own.
Once she's more stable, the skeletons in his emotional closet emerge and he has to find someone new to save instead.
While being sympathetic to this guy's plight is understandable, trying to save him is a waste of time.
The woman he wants: A woman who will see his gooey marshmallow center underneath that hardened edge and will exhaust herself trying to save him from himself.
The Frisky: 8 celebs swindled by their own families 5.
The Frisky: 7 things guys say that spell trouble 3.
What he really needs: To find closure with the woman who "wronged him," but not necessarily through confrontation. The sooner he realizes that life is what you make it, the sooner he'll have some much-needed company in his bed.
Rather, he needs to look at the demise of the relationship objectively so he's forced to acknowledge his role and can move forward in a new relationship with no (or minimal) baggage. The Eeyore: Thanks for noticing him, the dull, pathetic, dude in the corner who is not actually dull and pathetic.
These dudes are stuck in emotional "playpens" preventing them from forming healthy (and intimate) adult relationships and where the women in their lives are in the position of either pushing them around like toddlers in a baby carriage or screaming "Get up and walk on your own! Usually, emotional immaturity isn't obvious right away. If his mother abandoned him, he may be looking for a clingy lady.
In the first few weeks and months of dating, as our best selves are presented, we've found ourselves thinking, Finally, a guy who isn't emotionally stunted! But at some point, the curtain is pulled back just like in the "Wizard of Oz" and, yup, his emotional issues are right there. If his mother expected him to be "the man of the family," he may be looking for a woman who is helpless and needs taking care of. What he really needs: To realize that you are NOT his mother.