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Throughout our interview, I notice that he often uses the word "play" to describe what people do while in the room.That's not a term often associated with depression or obsession, two conditions in which you forget how to play.

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"It's good to see people who are actually attracted to each other and not having sex for money," he says.

The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says.

"Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.

most common questions in my e-mail is some variation on this: "How do I find women to have cybersex with? People still seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces.

And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms – normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?

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